by Chris Farago.


find a worthy cause and become its poet

you are now the voice of Ukrainian independence,

of bowel cancer, of pedestrian safety


write with gravitas, wear double-breasted suits,

and enunciate, enunciate, enunciate!


take solace in your solitude,

for yours is a rarefied air;

remember to mention john lennon in all your interviews


use capitals sparingly, punctuation haphazardly

you are a man of grand ideas

these trivialities are beneath you


hug bono when you meet

kiss him on the cheek when you leave


let your hair grow wild let your nails grow long

let your teeth be stained by coffee and wine

communicate with the world only via

leaked interoffice memos to yourself


(for being a famous poet does not pay the bills

and you must keep your desk your letter-

opener your novelty mug your swivelchair)


become twice as prolific

keeping half of what you write

for future generations to learn from to profit from


live the life of a subsistence farmer

to show the world you care

eat scraps like a mongrel dog


grow old before your time

be a wise 40 yr old in a room of 20s


make a list of last words

say them all to different people

just to leave the compilers from bartlett’s




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