by Jim Meirose.
This cassette contains the only recoverable part of that final transmission. Fine tooth comb it viz the usual protocols, and place a report on my desk by close of business today.
You heard the boss, run this out, let’s get started.
Okay; push play hear r’ rainy all came grain-wokin ‘n rollan that all fully-trained threes must report to the master control room, o immediately, cus; we’ve oo got issues, oop oo’ ‘p g’duk ‘op schwann ‘p this report cannot schwann parsley big parsley g’duk ‘p ‘op sweet ‘p ooo this latest status cannot possibly be schwann oop op big parsley, sweetheart, be a dear, run to the stockroom bring back o a few dozen of those brand new long thin stickies no captain yes captain yes captain no captain op buh please hurry you know but leave back the ones which arrived uncapped ‘p g’duk they are most likely rancid by this time ‘op g’duk get back o’ chick that status one three more times as it cannot possibly be true buh shwann oop spit it out for Christ’s sake—the truth!
For if so, if so, if so, we should be more afraid, than even I feared.
B-b-b-wait a bit slow things up please that’s the kind of detail I need to note down.
Fine and okay. Okay?
God imagine the thoughts of those poor souls at the ball.
Obtain. You think?
I do.
Okay go.
A-bup; the dancers a’swirl all l’swirl, gass g’duk ‘op schwann save that woman she’s trapped in a swan’s body okay but let’s step it up the big guy needs this report yesterday big parsley ‘p g’duk ‘p schwann op buh captain oh captain ‘o’ sweet oop ‘y sass o’ sweet parsley contaminationne we must find who or what to place blame for this on yes captain no captain no captain yes we must be armed when we oo get there ‘o of course else it’s possibly actually telling the truth oo a oop this is telling the truth must be backed up by fact g’duk oop but seems to be anyway in some strange manner send these out for checking please Hannah this is not a time for g’duk for politeness—
Pause that for ten momentes at moist as I—write fast.
Brave, no fear there, do you think? They sound afraid afraid to you? Ping.
No; b’ let’s go on talk’s for later, heck; shwann needs to be oop g’duk big parsley o’ by all my red hot fast cruise missiles my oh my schwann needs to be checked over oop big parsley oop sweet oop g’duk schwann those born again Christians’ lunchboxes are ready sweet big parsley to be checked over wait stop they seemed to believe they could escape in their ships but that part seemed hard to hear rewind me back through it will you please all right there heavy artillerymen follow me radio the nearest naval base of this grave situation have them oop oop g’duk g’duk oop shwann we don’t care who you are do not lie g’duk oop schwann big parsley something about sabotage sweet o’ g’duk turn their high-powered subatomically enhanced flyflinging star wars super space age intrauniversal wave radarscopic scan-gadget—high-altitude locational locator span ‘cross their skies; sweet-sweet big schwann eh big parsley quarter these three dozen turnips immediately please oop g’duk oop shwann g’duk oop schwann the men will need them for their vitamin content and their mostly unheralded laxative boost to-the-parsley big parsley great big medici’ man, big g’duk, oop schwann big sweet parsley please show the Brazilian ambassador to her quarters please and thank you oop g’duk oop oop shwann o’ parsley big parsley sweet sweet g’duk Kent’s been told not to reverse-tackle his assigned sleeping giantesses no more oop g’duk oop g’duk oop shwann g’duk oop schwann parsley g’duk oop schwann sweet parsley g’duk out of the exasperation he keep causing I am afraid we’re going to have to let him go oop g’duk shwann g’duk schwann sweet sweet sweet schwann parsley g’duk up and at ‘em my Monrovian people rise and follow me oop oop g’duk g’duk oop but but but issue the remaining serviceable weapons shwann oop g’duk schwann then as though hit with some hot second wind they decided to resume fighting off their end g’duk parsley big parsley they felt they still had a chance they meant to take a last stand but the remaining ammo was ordered issued out evenly Good God g’duk schwann g’duk schwann God to the end see how defiant they are stop here stop stop ‘his schwann g’duk, what’s been flown in the last flight out of Saginaw Michigan parsley sweet g’duk schwann big parsley that they had to endure this in their final moments is pitiful plus any billowy fishtrip’s a waste of time in these fishless water s’ so hard to believe that though facing this kind of end they had presence of mind to record it to the end but; what is that what is this out the smashed-through door ah intensely machine-gunning; ah ah do something get up rise but shrouded ‘round a butt off an apparent element of surprise now no’ machine-gunning machine-gunning bloodily-alle oversplattering gunning uh gunn’ t’ fleshly-torn earsplitting stormed f’ward way into here redly over through and all done.
Great work, men! Yes; ‘n; they never knew what hit them.
Steaming hot smoking gorepile stenched up down around under eh, Schwann! Great shooting, not a round wasted! You also, G’duk! Bu’ there’s just three of us here ‘gainst God knows how many more wakened alarmed so big parsley ‘mmanded them t’ load fresh magazines—Schwann, blow that door—need to get the rest go go on my desk ‘chine-gunning ‘ine-gunning ‘ne-gunning ‘e-gunning machine et eck gu-gu-g’; fine tooth comb it viz the usual protocols and place a report on my desk by close of business today ‘cause this cassette still contains the only recoverable part of this final transmission.