by Barry Vitcov.
This 70-year old Jew
Wants a slew of pork belly
Crispy and succulent
I want meat from
Rabbits and ostriches
No brisket, kishkes, or latkes will do
I want a threesome of
Clams, oysters, and lobsters
Sucking out sweet, chewy flesh
Even in a fishy, frothy stew of
Shrimp and other bottom filters
Will certainly do
I want a ham and Swiss
On lily-white bread
Slathered with Hellman’s mayonnaise and Beaver’s Sweet Hot mustard
With a goyishe beer like Adolf Coors
And salty Philadelphia pretzels
Reminding me of youth
Although a Budweiser pony size will do
I want the best dill pickle money can buy
Snap crisp and garlicy
A small bucket of vinegary giardiniera
Several bleu cheeses
Chopped liver and other dietary challenges
I want a fully restored 1955 Ford Thunderbird
Goldenrod yellow exterior and black interior
Built years before I was licensed to drive
But I can drive now, baby!
With a picnic basket in the back
And a fast woman sitting in the bucket seat beside me
Driving along the Pacific
With only fantasies on my mind