by David D. Horowitz.
During the past several decades various polls have exposed Americans’ ignorance about our history, constitution, and government. Do we forget too much or do we ignore too much? Or both? To forget one must first have remembered, but too few people commit to memorizing details unless they are about themselves. It would behoove many of them to memorize details about other people, places, and things.
If I manage a bookstore, and I remember a particular customer buys detective novels, I can more accurately suggest to her new titles to browse and, or buy. If I work as a clothing salesperson, I would make every effort to recall whether a regular customer prefers loose-fitting or trim-cut jeans and whether, say, he prefers maroon to magenta sweater vests. While conversations with that customer might not always be deep, I might still enjoy learning how his family is doing and whether he thinks his beloved Seattle Mariners will trade soon for a starting pitcher. I might also remember a different customer likes to be left totally alone while shopping, and to leave him alone is the most courteous—and profitable—way to treat him. Details matter—and to some people, nothing matters more.
Few details matter more than those of language, pronunciation, and tone. Years ago when I worked as a conference room attendant at a law firm, I would sometimes during lunch hour browse websites featuring the expressions “hello” and “thank you” in one hundred languages. Some of these expressions I took to heart, such as “bok,” which means “hello” in Serbo-Croat. I also recalled that one of our attorneys was from Croatia. One day when I saw him in one of the firm’s kitchens, I said, “Bok!” He laughed heartily and responded, “Bok, David!” Many times after that we would greet each other: “Bok!” A little bit of effort to memorize names and basic expressions yielded many enjoyable exchanges. Likewise, at the same firm one of our attorneys was a Latina whose name was spelled “Martha” but who wanted others to pronounce her name “Marta.” She deeply appreciated that I honored this preference. Also, at that firm a legal assistant walked up to me on her last day of employment there and remarked, “I want to thank you. You always remembered my name!”
Think how many spouses value their partner’s remembering their birth date and what their favorite presents are. Consider how many evenings have been spent among old friends recalling memories—raucously laughing and wistfully reminiscing. I currently recall daily the stories of Ancient Rome’s slide from a republic to an autocracy. Our current political circumstances make this all the more relevant, and it has often ignited illuminating discussions with historically aware friends. Indeed, shared memories deepen emotional connections. Don’t forget that.