by Ron Singer.
Phone down, landline at sea, cell still working (luckily). Point person: Glenda, Good Witch of the West. Promises magic, doesn’t deliver. Taken in toto, Witch flunks test.
Phone still down, passed on to Sandra, Personal Rep. Sends us gizmo, dial tone now.
Incoming calls routed to neighbor: “Problem with flow.” “Hel-lo? Who is this?” His calls come to us (i.e. go amiss).
Glen’s line is busy. Sandy, Personal Wiz, refers us to Super, “Ms. Welfare,” by name. Long Island’s Ms. Welfare, Princess Telephone, beauty queen. Promises, promises! B. is as B. does. Ms. Welfare stalls; we fuss.
Ed, repairman, turns up –not Fast Eddie, slow– twice, to basement, he goes. Wires at last uncrossed. Ed-die! Nice fellow! “Customer’s the boss. And, please,” he urges, “return our gizmo –postage-free. It’s on us.”
“You bet!” says we. “You bet, yessiree!”