by Mark Saltveit
Missionary
My problem with organized religion is that it imagines God
as worried silly about what we think of "Him." The all-powerful,
omniscient Creator of the Universe is losing sleep because Frank
in Schenectady stopped going to church on Sunday.
Missionaries act like religion is an election campaign, with Jesus,
Allah and Buddha competing for votes of faith to determine who’s
really God. And these missionaries are the campaign volunteers.
How important they must be, since God Almighty needs their help!
No one has ever seen a missionary for simple understanding.
That’s because they stay home and mind their own business.
The ocean doesn't need to campaign. You can warn people about
its dangers, or rave about surfing, but the ocean just keeps making
waves, no matter what you say.
Volunteers
Maybe I’m just lazy.
I plant nothing. Own no tools. Use no fertilizer or pesticides.
Couldn’t even tell you the names of the plants. Just wait for “volunteers.”
I look at my garden. If I don’t like a plant, I kill it. I keep killing until
I like everything.
Volunteers grow where they want, without my direction but with my permission.
If I had planted the identical seed, I might have put it a foot away where it
would get too much sun, or not enough water.
I trust nature to write, and sometimes I edit.
My garden is unruly. It grows in its own season. Birds and butterflies love it.
Everything is in its place.
Now, to be honest, sometimes my daughters plant things that my girlfriend picks
out for them. And I don't object.
I have my principles, but I’m not an idiot. They’re volunteers, too.
Size
How to fight against a much stronger opponent:
A drunk walks out of a bar, and a fly lands on his nose.
He tries to smash it and bloodies his own face.
One trick is flying away just before you get crushed.
The other is, knowing when your opponent is drunk.