Dear Wendy —
I just wanted to write to tell you how much I admire you for all the things you’ve accomplished. Gosh, I am so impressed with anyone who has a strong point of view and is not afraid to share it. I guess I’ve always been an average kind of gal who just wants to fit in with the crowd. A lot of what you’ve been writing about really interests me, and I like the idea of helping others. But, sometimes I don’t understand why you want to call attention to yourself, the way you do. Don’t you just want to be like everyone else?
That’s the problem I’ve been facing. My family took me in years ago, and I love them so much. They are so kind to overlook the fact that I’m the stupid, ugly one of the family. My Uncle Herman is the sweetest man, and he works such long hours at the parlor to support the family. I wanted to do my part to help out at home, so I got a part time job at the Hot Dog On A Stick in the shopping mall. I’ve been noticing lots of pretty girls down at the food court. They have perfect white skin and beautiful black hair, and dress in a real glamorous style. These girls apply their makeup really well, and some of them even wear earrings on their faces. They remind me of my Aunt Lily, who I think must be the most beautiful woman in the world. My co-worker Taqueelah told me these girls are “Goth.” I don’t know if that’s a nationality or a religion, like that Scientology stuff. There’s another girl we work with who has the prettiest eyebrows. Her name is Concepcion, and I heard she’s what they call a “chola.” I’m thing of asking some of these girls to help me with a makeover. If I could look pretty like them, I feel like I’d fit in better with my family. Gee, I’d be so happy if my aunt and uncle didn’t have to be embarrassed to go out in public with me. That’s not wrong, is it?
Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to read my letter.
Your friend,
Marilyn Munster
Dear Marilyn,
Believe it or not, you’re exactly the kind of fictional character we want joining us in our Fictional Characters for Real Life Social Change. And why? Because do you know what is the rarest kind of person in the fictional or the real universe? It’s the person who thinks that they are just an average person. Someone who doesn’t mind giving other people some credit. Someone who doesn’t constantly fantasize that at any moment they are going to be rich and famous and able to force someone else to take out their garbage.
You, Marilyn, have so much to give the world. You honestly admire other people and see the good in them. How many people are there like you out there? Not enough.
First, though, you have to cut yourself the same slack you cut everyone else. In support of this, what I’d like to suggest is that you join us at the next Fictional Characters for Real Life Social Change Working Group. I’ve invited another character, one I’ve known and admired for some time, to mentor you—if you’re willing.
She’ll be waiting for you in the lobby of the Exterminating Angel Press World Headquarters, right by the North Fireplace. If you don’t see her, just ask at the front desk, either for The Ugly Duckling, or The Swan…she goes by both names these days. I’ve told her about you. Frankly, she and I think that once you realize your strengths, there’ll be no stopping you.
So get time off from the corn dog stand, and buy that bus ticket now.
Looking forward to our next meeting,
Ask Wendy