by Phyllis Peters
“ … I know school’s expensive … I do see an irony in that, I guess, but it’s not a question of appreciating irony, I’ve just, just … come to it I guess … What? … I remember. Yeah. I haven’t forgotten the stories, Dad. You were always a great self-promoter, and don’t pretend like you’re mad – you know how I mean that. I mean, it led me to major in marketing, and what bigger tribute can I pay my own father than to follow in his footsteps, you know, in a modern kinda way? … I am not patronizing you …
“You didn’t recognize the number ‘cause I just got a new phone, that’s why … one of the new iPhones … Yeah, it is, way cool … well you coulda just let it go to voicemail, and I woulda left you the new number there … OK, I’ll text ya next time I make a major life change … I’m not being sarcastic, Dad, but this is the kinda stuff I’m talking about – all my life I got people on my case ‘cuza the ‘line of work’ you’re in, you can’t even answer your phone until this day and age when we have caller ID on accouna the type of clients you’ve got, not to mention how we felt growin’ up every time Halloween rolled around … you know, the silly red costumes, the totally unrealistic idea most people have about the whole thing anyway … yes, I did say ‘unrealistic’ and I guess that’s what got me thinkin’. I mean, ya gotta admit, Dad, it’s a new time now – global markets, cultures blending … yes, I did learn some of that in my economics class … yes, the one you’re paying for, what’s wrong with that?! … Listen to you, you sound like some conservative old … you used to be a catalyst for change, for God’s sake! … Sorry … I just mean that people change, times change. I just can’t do it anymore …
“Dad. Dad! stop right there. What does that mean, ‘You’re not grasping the ramifications.’ How could I not? How could I grow up with you as my parent and not know? … Well, when you say things like I’m ‘obliterating you from the continuum of history,’ I mean, Jesus, those are big words … yes, I do invoke his name sometimes, but it’s just a figure of speech … no, saying his name does not show any ‘vestiges of your teachings that might still remain,’ but, I don’t know, maybe it does. I mean, when a guy’s been taught something, y’know, like, mired in something so all-encompassing from the time he’s born, at some point when he gets older, he’s gonna start to question it. It’s part of growing up, thinking for yourself … for my self … hhhhh, there are no cults on campus, Dad. And you of all people shouldn’t say that – the way you say it, it sounds like someone’s kidnapped my free will or something. I mean, talk about influencing people’s free will … OK, then, I’ll take out loans! Or I’ll just drop out and join the Peace Corps if paying for an education for your son is making you that crazy. Maybe I’ll just drop out and not join anything – ‘Idleness is the Devil’s playground!’… What? … What?! … How can you say that?! … Dad, I’m not calling you crazy, you’re acting crazy … Dad! …
“May I speak with Lou, please? … Yes … Look, I know he’s not in a meeting, Terry, I was just talking to him … Yes, it’s me … That’s OK, I’ll hold … Dad, how are we gonna talk if you hang up every time I say something you don’t wanna hear? … OK, I’m sorry, all right? It’s just that that playground line is burned into my psyche to the point of damage, so I can’t help it … I don’t really mean I’m damaged by your position, but it’s, it’s like those kids of famous people, ya know? They’re always gonna be ‘Bob Dylan’s son’ or ‘John Lennon’s son’ no matter how good their songs are … I need to have my own song, too, ya know. You gotta respect that … OK, OK, you’re right: If Dylan’s son wasn’t a musician, it wouldn’t have negated Bob’s entire career … OK, existence, but you’re not just gonna go POOF! and be gone in a cloud of smoke like in some kinda Hollywood B flick or something – see, that’s the kind of supernatural stuff people just can’t swallow anymore, Dad. Like I said, a new world. We have technology, some insight, some much needed cooperation is starting to happen. If we take away the hierarchy – I mean, it’s just a scaffold – you’ll be standing on the ground with the rest of us … you’ll be OK, you’ll just have a different perspective is all. And so will everyone else …
“See, you keep saying that, but it’s really the other way around: We’ve been blaming you on our problems … ha, yeah, your own ‘personal hell’ – that’s very funny, but no, the way it is now must be hell for you. I mean, that’s a whole lot to carry around for eternity, isn’t it? I don’t see why looking at it the other way around wouldn’t be a relief for you. Don’t you want a vacation after all these years? You know, I’ve never known you to take time off at all, Dad, and that’s really not a good idea. Stress is really bad for you … actually, maybe this is the best time to call it quits … the “r” word, yes, yes … yes … you could buy that nice little place in Aruba, finally have all your days to yourself … whattya mean ‘too hot’? The day my father thinks Aruba’s too hot is the day he should consider retiring in my opinion … but you would find things to do all day, you could, I dunno, read more, learn to cook. You’ve always said you wanted to do that. Or you could find a nice lady to spend time with – that’s something you haven’t done in a long time, right? … Yeah, well, ya gotta keep those serpent jokes to a minimum with the ladies, Dad, even if you’re just kidding – I mean, I wouldn’t mention it at all if I were you. But you know, you could just enjoy … life … yeah, life, right here on Earth, can ya believe that? It’s that perspective thing I was sayin’ before … but you’d find something to do with all those files. What do other retirees do with their clients’ information? Have Terry find some service to convert them into electronic format and store ‘em that way … c’mon, Dad, this is just avoidance – there are services out there that are bonded and insured and offer complete confidentiality when dealing with their clients’ proprietary information. They put it right in their contract, and you more than anyone know about contracts! Just have Terry get some referrals – it shouldn’t be a deal breaker …
“Dante was far afield – you say it all the time … Mmm hmm … I know … not one single soul who ever went back on a contract ever landed upside-down in a well with his feet on fire … I know you wish you’d thought of that, but just keep remembering that scene with the icy lake, OK? … Yes, it’s a great bit of imagery … it’s nice to hear you laugh, Dad. It was called ‘The Comedie’ after all …
“Look, just be glad of your career. You’ve worked with the most famous and influential people throughout Earth’s history – some of them from on top of the highest mountains, showin’ ‘em all the kingdoms in one single glance. That was brilliant! No one else can lay claim to all that … You’re the best, the original rebel, The Evil Twin, The Antichrist, The Prince of Darkness – I know ‘em all, Dad, and believe it or not, I’ve always loved the titles and the pageantry and everything, but I just can’t help the way I feel: Atheism is the way for me. I just don’t believe in God anymore …
“Dad? Dad, pull yourself together. Are you crying? Tch, I can’t stand to hear you cry…”