• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Exterminating Angel Press

Exterminating Angel Press

Creative Solutions for Practical Idealists.

  • Home.
  • Our Books.
  • About Us.
    • What EAP’s About.
    • Why Exterminating Angel?
    • Becoming Part of the EAP Community.
    • EAP’s Poetry Editor Speaks!
    • Contributors.
    • EAP Press.
  • EAP: The Magazine.
    • EAP: The Magazine Archive
  • Tod Blog.
  • Jam Today.
  • Contact Us.
  • Cart.

Exangel

excerpt from GREENBEARD

March 22, 2013 by Exangel

by Richard James Bentley

An early run-in with Henry Morgan, excerpted from Chapter the Second
Captain Sylvestre de Greybagges, Israel Feet and Blue Peter Ceteshwayoo walked down the gangplank and onto the quay, dressed for a night out. The Captain was in his customary black attire. Blue Peter sported a coat of deep-pink silk with gleaming gold buttons, yellow knee-breeches, white hose and gold-buckled shoes the size of small boats on his huge feet, gemstone rings twinkling multicoloured on his fingers. Israel Feet was dressed in the traditional pirate rig of calico shirt, fustian waistcoat and knee-breeches with no hose and black leather pumps on his feet, a bright-coloured knotted kerchief covered his hair and a gold hoop dangled from his ear-lobe, an English Tower-of-London flintlock pistol and a Venetian poniard in his belt.
“Look you, boyos!” came a voice with a strong Welsh lilt. “It is Captain Yellowbeard the Pirate with his pets, the rat and the raven!”
Captain Greybagges spun round. “Why! Iffen it ain’t my ole shipmate Bloody Morgan – or shouldn’t that be bloody Bloody Morgan, har-har!” He grinned at Henry Morgan with every appearance of amiability. “Yez is surely looking wealthy these days! ‘Tis small reason to insult my friends, mind yez, especially when ye have dressed yer own fellows like they be performin’ monkeys o’ the sort that the Eyetalian hurdy-gurdy men has by them to caper and pass the hat round.” Morgan’s four bully-boys were dressed in short red bumfreezer jackets, and looked put-out at the Captain’s comment.
“You are surely jealous of my finery, Greybagges” sniffed Morgan, twirling around to show off his plum-coloured coat and its gold buttons, epaulettes and braid. “If you had possessed the good sense to accompany me to Panama you would be as grand as myself, surely you would.”
“I be merely a humble gentleman of fortune, Morgan, and I seeks not glory at the cost of the lives of my jolly buccaneers. I am not a captain in the Navy, that has Admirals to please and pressed men to fritter away to get a mention in the London Times.” Captain Greybagges shrugged eloquently.
“If you don’t please anyone but yourself, boyo, then nobody will want to please you. Why, King Charles himself has asked me to come to London. I hear he wants to dub me Sir Henry Morgan and make me Governor of Jamaica, on account of how my little expedition to Panama has discountenanced the Spaniards so.”
Captain Sylvestre de Greybagges eyebrows went up. “Well, and there is a wonder!” he said. “A gentleman of fortune to be Governor of Jamaikey!” The Captain looked thoughtful. “It may be that the king wants a poacher for a gamekeeper, rather than to reward you for upsetting the Dons, belike. You will not be Sir Henry Bloody Morgan Governor of Jamaikey and yet still be in good standing in the Free Brotherhood of the Coasts.” He indicated Morgan’s bully-boys with a wave of his hand. “And yer jolly boys will be dancing a hornpipe for yez one day, and dancing a different hornpipe for yez the very next day. At the end of a rope, methinks. Such is the price of a knighthood, given to yez by King Charles himself with a dab of his little sword on yer shoulder-boards.”
Morgan’s face flushed red with rage. “You always were a churlish cully, Greybagges! A mere scribbler for the scandal-sheets! I bid you good-day!” He and his bully-boys swept past them. Israel Feet had to jump back so as not to be jostled.
The three buccaneers watched them as they went. The small Welsh pirate captain strode confidently, his nose in the air. One of his bully-boys looked back at them uncertainly before the crowd closed behind them.
“Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn the jumped-up Welsh fool!” muttered Captain Greybagges, making no attempt to speak like a pirate. “And damn me for not being able to keep my mouth shut.”
“I thought you spoke well and to the point, Captain,” said Blue Peter. “I believe that you planted a seed of concern in the minds of his men, too.”
“I did, but that means he will be able to deal with it, as I have tipped him off in time to what people will say, and that in turn means that he will go to London and see the king.” Captain Greybagges sighed. “There was a small chance that I could have talked him out of it. He did trust my judgement in times gone by, when we were shipmates under Captain Flint. If I could have kept my own counsel and then seen him later alone I might have swayed him, but now it’s as though I’ve challenged him publicly, so he will go to the king, damn him. And the king will dub him Sir Henry Bloody Morgan. And the king will make him Governor of Jamaica. And the king will have hired himself a fine poacher as a gamekeeper, a very fine poacher indeed. And the Free Brotherhood of the Coasts will be broken. And England will be united with France and Spain to rid the oceans of the scourge of piracy, which is us.”

On Having Fun.

February 22, 2013 by Exangel

I had fun giving a screenwriting seminar at the Boulder International Film Festival recently. It’s always fun to talk about story, and structure, and how they go together, with other people who are thinking about that too. There was this one moment, though, where the whole room kind of froze, like in a movie, come […]

Wonder Women of All Kinds, and a Wonder Man, too…

January 31, 2013 by Exangel

The documentary Wonder Women! The Untold Story of the American Superheroine is a smashing look at how the story of superheroines has helped form, and continues to form our culture, and EAP’s Mike Madrid, author of “The Supergirls: Fashion, Feminism, Fantasy, and the History of Comic Book Heroines,” is one of the great interview subjects, along […]

Why We Don’t Have a ‘Submissions Policy’

January 16, 2013 by Exangel

I get a lot of emails that start something like this, “I’ve looked all over your website, but I can’t find your submission guidelines.” And I usually email back something like, “Well, that’s because we don’t have any. We don’t have guidelines, and we tend not to call them ‘submissions’, since we think of them […]

Greenbeard.

December 18, 2012 by Exangel

by Richard James Bentley ($14.95) Buy the Paperback Buy the eBook “The situations are cleverly contrived, the characters likeable, and the over-the-top premise worked out in careful detail. . . [Greenbeard] keeps moving along and pulling the reader with it.” —Publishers Weekly “Somewhere between Jack Sparrow and Long John Silver is the world inhabited by […]

Whirling Winter Words.

November 30, 2012 by Exangel

The Winter issue of EAP: The Magazine is up, and we had an avalanche of contributions this time. (Special thanks to Marissa Bell Toffoli, our ace poetry editor, for so graciously and competently working with all the poets who contacted us–and see her contribution, “Would, Will.”) What we particularly like is hearing from all the […]

Using the Evil Word on Animals.

November 30, 2012 by Exangel

by Brian Griffith Over recent centuries, we’ve grown more self-aware about projecting our own qualities onto the universe. The way many languages treat most things as either masculine or feminine, including God, now strikes us as slightly contrived. We treat traditional characterizations of animals as quaint expressions of popular prejudice—the way spiders seem industrious, foxes […]

A Mighty Woman with a Torch.

November 30, 2012 by Exangel

by Kenneth Womack.   I have magical powers. I can feel them—even now—quickening inside of me as I stand here, taut and immobile, amongst the moveable throng of Jackson Square. Some 20 yards away, within the cast-iron fence that surrounds the park, sits the famous statue of General Andrew Jackson, forever on horseback, reviewing his […]

Dining with a Friend.

November 30, 2012 by Exangel

It was a snowy day, and the Dear Husband was off somewhere or other in another clime, and I was homesick for my hearth in Oregon, and the friend there who I liked to sit alone with on winter evenings, drinking wine and talking about things that really happened and thoughts we really have–a rare […]

Some Bums.

November 27, 2012 by Exangel

by Seth Turman. So there was this guy at the dog park. He didn’t have a dog. He had a backpack and a bad haircut. It looked like he had cut it as close as possible with a cheap pair of scissors, blindfolded. Patches stuck out randomly. I noticed him quickly. He was out of […]

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Cart.

Check Out Our Magazine.

In This Issue.

  • Wildflowers: The Wisdom of Tom Petty.
  • Automatic Immortality.
  • The Errant Sea Hawk.
  • Strider, Part III (from “My Life with Dogs”).
  • As God Gargles Oceans.
  • On(0) Writing.
  • The London Museum of Natural History.
  • Tension and Release.
  • Not to Style the Bouquets.
  • The Happiness Masterpiece.
  • Is it difficult?
  • Scots pine and sea spray.
  • Her Name Rhymed with Pamela.
  • Superbloom.
  • A Hole in the Night.
  • Begin again.
  • South Loudon St., Sunday Afternoon.
  • A Dangerous Scent.

In The News.

That cult classic pirate/sci fi mash up GREENBEARD, by Richard James Bentley, is now a rollicking audiobook, available from Audible.com. Narrated and acted by Colby Elliott of Last Word Audio, you’ll be overwhelmed by the riches and hilarity within.

“Captain Sylvestre de Greybagges is your typical seventeenth-century Cambridge-educated lawyer turned Caribbean pirate, as comfortable debating the virtues of William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, and compound interest as he is wielding a cutlass, needling archrival Henry Morgan, and parsing rum-soaked gossip for his next target. When a pepper monger’s loose tongue lets out a rumor about a fleet loaded with silver, the Captain sets sail only to find himself in a close encounter of a very different kind.

After escaping with his sanity barely intact and his beard transformed an alarming bright green, Greybagges rallies The Ark de Triomphe crew for a revenge-fueled, thrill-a-minute adventure to the ends of the earth and beyond.

This frolicsome tale of skullduggery, jiggery-pokery, and chicanery upon Ye High Seas is brimming with hilarious puns, masterful historical allusions, and nonstop literary hijinks. Including sly references to Thomas Pynchon, Treasure Island, 1940s cinema, and notable historical figures, this mélange of delights will captivate readers with its rollicking adventure, rich descriptions of food and fashion, and learned asides into scientific, philosophical, and colonial history.”

THE SUPERGIRLS is back, revised and updated!

supergirls-take-1

In The News.

Newport Public Library hosted a three part Zoom series on Visionary Fiction, led by Tod.  

And we love them for it, too.

The first discussion was a lively blast. You can watch it here. The second, Looking Back to Look Forward can be seen here.

The third was the best of all. Visions of the Future, with a cast of characters including poets, audiobook artists, historians, Starhawk, and Mary Shelley. Among others. Link is here.

In the News.

SNOTTY SAVES THE DAY is now an audiobook, narrated by Last Word Audio’s mellifluous Colby Elliott. It launched May 10th, but for a limited time, you can listen for free with an Audible trial membership. So what are you waiting for? Start listening to the wonders of how Arcadia was born from the worst section of the worst neighborhood in the worst empire of all the worlds since the universe began.

In The News.

If you love audio books, don’t miss the new release of REPORT TO MEGALOPOLIS, by Tod Davies, narrated by Colby Elliott of Last Word Audio. The tortured Aspern Grayling tries to rise above the truth of his own story, fighting with reality every step of the way, and Colby’s voice is the perfect match for our modern day Dr. Frankenstein.

In The News.

Mike Madrid dishes on Miss Fury to the BBC . . .

Tod on the Importance of Visionary Fiction

Check out this video of “Beyond Utopia: The Importance of Fantasy,” Tod’s recent talk at the tenth World-Ecology Research Network Conference, June 2019, in San Francisco. She covers everything from Wind in the Willows to the work of Kim Stanley Robinson, with a look at The History of Arcadia along the way. As usual, she’s going on about how visionary fiction has an important place in the formation of a world we want and need to have.

Copyright © 2026 · Exterminating Angel Press · Designed by Ashland Websites