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Alex Cox interviews KID CARPET

January 13, 2009 by David Gordon

 

Alex:  Is the Bristol Carpet Factory a factory, or an outlet?  If an outlet, where are the carpets made?

Kid Carpet:  The Bristol Carpet Factory is a front. It's an abandoned warehouse somewhere downtown which from the outside looks really massive but inside is actually tiny. this is my secret hideaway where the magic happens with small machines, sellotape and felt pens.

Alex:  Why does carpet come in larger sizes than vinyl?

Kid Carpet: i had a cunning business concept. i pressed my old albums onto 3 different sizes: 2,3 and 4metre wide vinyl records.  the artwork looks amazing and the grooves are so wide apart that the sound quality is second to none. if you buy one of my giant size albums you will also have to buy a giant size record player to play it on (only available from me). what with all this downsizing going on everywhere i thought it would be refreshing to think really big. now i have a warehouse full of enormous machines that nobody wants

Alex:  Is vinyl the same as lino?

Kid Carpet:  my Shit Dope ep initially came out as a limited edition run on lino. unfortunately the sound quality is very bad, it's all floppy. also you cannot find black lino anywhere and are limited to picture discs of tiles. vinyl and lino are not the same.

Alex:  Do only boys work at the factory, or girls too?

Kid Carpet:  i'm working here by myself at the moment but i do rope in employees occasionally and my top staff are Betsy Cola, Lucy, Chi, Big Jeff, Bobby and Jonny. a fifty fifty split along gender lines. i must sort them some new uniforms out as the ones seen in my Carrier Bag video are wearing out a bit.

Alex:   How is the working environment?

Kid Carpet:  entirely smoke free. since the ban i have to smoke outside, even though its just me here and probably nobody would notice.  i don't want to break the rules. so basically i spend all day standing outside and i don't get any work done.

Alex
:  Which is the best carpet for pet owners?

Kid Carpet:  we have two visiting cats, Shaggy Wag-Tail and Ginge. they both hate the deep shag and wont step on it but the thin rugs get rolled on and are perfect for playing find-the-invisible-under-the-rug-creatures games.

Alex:  Does it still rain a lot in Bristol?

Kid Carpet:  yep, and it's raining today. it never snows though, never ever. you do get a lovely sunset if you're traveling westwards home of an evening in the summer

Alex:  Aren't you worried that if audiences heed the message of SHINY SHINY NEW a worldwide economic collapse may occur?

Kid Carpet:  I wondered what the inspiration for this whole recession thing came from. some greedy wall street bankers? nah, my little plastic guitar of course! i feel sorry for older folks who've lost all their savings and for those made redundant but for people like me who have no savings and no mortgage and no boss, this recession is quite amusing in a way. it feels like the last days  of capitalism. nice.

Alex:  One thousand five hundred pounds seems like a lot of money for 'thwack thwack'.  Did it buy anything else?

Kid Carpet:  i managed to afford a year long pass for the Wellington to Taunton badgerline bus route which worked out to be utterly useless to me as i was only visiting for a short break

Alex:  Which is better, Bristol or an English-speaking resort?

Kid Carpet:  it depends what you're looking for in a holiday destination. as i live in bristol i seldom find that i want to holiday here but i did have to pretend  to once: Ryan Air in-flight magazine asked me to imagine i was on holiday in bristol and to spend 100 euros doing holiday stuff. so i bought cheese and beer and hired a bike. if i get a chance to have a holiday i usually go camping in Exmoor, Devon or Cornwall.

 

(Kid Carpet can be found at http://www.myspace.com/kidcarpet and at Amazon.com, among other places.  Alex Cox can be found as usual at alexcox.com )

Filed Under: Alex Cox.

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