by Sue Cullen
Fear is an emotion that can be controlled, curtailed,forgotten in an instant. Fear can be felt but it can also be fought.
You can't run away from it , as fear comes from inside. It is ' a painful emotion or passion excited by the expectation.'
Emotions are complex.
Love,hate,jealousy and fear.
We've all felt these emotions. By the time you've reached the age of thirty, you've lived through love, heartache, and the embarrassing sting of envy. Well, if you haven't, you're either not paying attention, or you're not living full out.
All of these emotions ,and experiences, brought about by them , make up our characters, our soul, they are us.
They make up our instinctual thought patterns. They can break us or make us stronger. Then we all have that one emotion which we've felt more of, than the over.
Mine is fear. Without a doubt.
Fear can be paralysing, fear can make you feel alive, make your heart beat so loud, you can hear the beating of its drum in your inner ear. It can make you sweat and cloud your vision…….until you are faced with it and no way out.
My fear, being a parent, especially, is illness. My illness. Not being there for my children. And I was diagnosed with an illness before my children come along.
My illness isn't going to kill me but it is a huge part of my life, one which requires surgery on a regular basis. And then it's added a new fear that I have to face. This fear I have to face every few years. The fear of not being in control of my body. My fear is general anaesthetic. I never know if I'm going to come out of it the same person I went in, or if I'm going to come out of it at all.
I hear it all the time: face your fear. In my eyes it is not right to face your fear unless you have to. I have to on a regular basis, and let me tell you it doesn't make it easier, it doesn't make it go away. But it does on the other hand make me one hell of a lot stronger. So on second thoughts, I suppose it is good to face your fear. But it's even better to face your fear with something we all have inside of us, something which we all forget about and something that can be most useful in fighting the fear. That something is courage and when it comes to the crunch, and I feel my heart beat speeding up, I take a moment, relax, breathe and I feel it.
…..it may take a bit of practise to really feel COURAGE but it is there, right inside you, right beside the fear that you feel….just waiting for you to feel it too.