Dear Wendy:
I've been putting off writing this for a while, but as I face another night looking at the view of Sleeping Beauty's castle with only a bottle of Grey Goose vodka to keep me company, I find I can't put it off any longer. I've wanted to write to you for a while, but I felt that you might think me shallow for dwelling so much on my own problems, while you, my dear, are expanding your scope to address the problems of the world at large.
Like you, I've been around for a while, and I've seen many changes in our world. Heck, I got my start before the Great Depression, and Mr. M and I certainly did our part to try and make people happy during those tough times. Then came the war, and after that, he got his TV show, which kept him busy all of the time. And that left me home to keep myself entertained, while I was wondering what he was doing with those young girls with the little mouse ears. But I never said anything. I just looked the other way. Jackie and I had a long talk about that one day at the White House. It's hard being with a famous man whose desires don't always lead him to your bedroom door.
But, here I go again, looking at my own problems. I just don't have anyone I can talk about these things with. Certainly not that trampy duck that goes out with Donald. My dear, she doesn't even wear panties. I feel she's been a bad influence on Britney and that Hilton girl.
My career is pretty much over, and I'm just seen as an accessory to the more famous man in my life. When she made her Oscar acceptance speech, Halle Berry didn't even mention me as one of the black actresses who had preceded her. And everyone makes such a big deal about that Sarah Jessica Parker and her Manolo Blahniks. Please, I was working a pair of heels before she was born.
So Wendy, I am looking for a cause to wrap myself around. Katie Holmes may be able to keep herself occupied with a loveless Hollywood marriage, but those days are over for me. Hillary won't return any of my calls, so she doesn't seem to want any help with her campaign. Obviously I'm interested in animal rights issues, but that Pam Anderson is more of a draw than a flat chested septuagenarian mouse. So, my dear, how can we help each other?
Minnie Mouse
Dear Minnie:
Minnie, I hope you don't mind me saying you are exactly the kind of person — if that's the right word — the Fictional Characters for Real Life Social Change Working Group is looking for. How many experiences, how much wisdom, how much sheer energy is being wasted by your not engaging in a larger sense with our world! Think, think about the younger cartoon characters coming up after you. They've been told feminism has already won the battle, that they're equals to any male cartoon characters around. But is that true? How many TV hours, for example, does Homer get as opposed to Marge, or Bart to Lisa? And then there are the superheroines. Sure, that looks like equal opportunity. But is it really, when you have to act like a guy to get any kind of space? I mean, where is Super Childcare Minder, and Super Cook, not to mention, Super Midwife, Super Nurse Practitioner, or even Super Veterinarian? There aren't that many women's values being authentically honored in the culture. I don't think we can count the exciting career of photojournalism, do you?
You have a duty, Minnie, to all the generations coming after you — we all do, especially childless fictional characters like ourselves. So grab the bottle of Grey Goose, bring it along to the next meeting, and pass it around. That'll be a start. We'll take it from there.
And welcome aboard, Minnie. I can tell this is the start of a beautiful friendship.
Yours in solidarity,
Ask Wendy
(got a question? need advice? do you know or are you a fictional character who wants to work for Real Life Social Change? email ask wendy today.)