The Holiday EAP
by the Editor
Now normally we here at EAP don't like to get reactive. We'd rather say what we're in favor of than what we're against; we'd rather get on with our own program than waste any time comparing it to someone else's. However. I can't help but remember, this Christmas season, another Christmas some years ago. I was producing an NPR radio show at the time, a food show whose motto was "If you can get control of your refrigerator, you can get control of your life!" For the Christmas special, we interviewed Martha Stewart. When asked what she recommended doing for Christmas that year, she brightly said, "Well — if you have a drill press — do you know what a drill press is? — you can do what I'm doing. Collect acorns and dye them gold and silver, then drill each one individually, and string them up to make festive holiday garlands!"
I think I can definitely say that the above advice is about as opposite to the EAP holiday spirit as it's possible to imagine. In fact, I can further say that Martha Stewart's world, in general, is about as alien a planet to EAP's own dear earth as it's possible to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think she got a raw deal on that insider trading conviction (as Mike Madrid, EAP's Popular Culture Editor, put it, "They wouldn't have done that to Oprah"). Nevertheless, any holiday that involves drilling acorns and stringing them up is more a Forced March Through a Barren Wasteland than the festival of Dickensian warmth and good cheer that we here feel it was truly meant to be. Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, the Solstice — whatever we're celebrating, we here at EAP all feel a great need not to worry about garlands of gilded acorns.
So if you've got a drill press — do you know what a drill press is? — we here at EAP recommend that you put it away safely in the attic where it belongs, and settle down to hanging out with family and friends. Make sure you all eat and drink something nice. Toast us if you think of it.
We'll be toasting you, for sure.
See you in 2009.
Welcome back.