by Wendy Darling
Dear Wendy,
Oh gosh, it is so nice to meet you. I am such a fan of yours. Ever since I first read about you, I wanted to be just like you. You see, I’m just like you. I love children and just want to take care of them and make them happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I moonwalked off into the great beyond. I thought it might make me sad, but I’ve met so many wonderful people here. Other folks just like you and me who love children, and wanted to make them happy in their own lifetimes. People like Mother Theresa, Saint Aloysius, Princess Diana, and Mrs. Perón. And I even met that nice Mr. Gacy. He was so misunderstood, just like me. He just wanted to be a clown and see smiles on children’s faces.
Wendy, on some level, I don’t miss the living world. So many horrible people saying such horrible things. But since I’ve been gone, people have been saying lots of nice things about me. And they seem to have forgotten a lot of the awful things they used to say. And a funny thing has happened. I feel like I HAVE become more like you now—a fictional character. Pinocchio always wanted to be a real boy, but not me. Now the living world really remembers me as the magical King of Pop who wanted to make the world and all its children happy. I’m a story and a hero, just like your friend Peter Pan. Now I can meet all of the other wonderful characters I’ve idolized in my old life, like Fagin and the Pied Piper of Hamelin.
Wendy, you know I love to help people, especially children. Are there any of your make-believe friends that might need a loving older brother to spend time with? Oliver Twist? Jack Be Nimble? Swee’Pea? Or maybe those Lost Boys you used to look after. You’ve been so busy with all your charitable work, I’d be happy to help you tuck them in at night.
Your friend,
Michael
Dear Michael,
It's lovely to hear from you. I was hoping you'd get in touch, once all the hoopla around your end had died down (no pun intended). I knew it was only a matter of time before you made the final transition into being the Fictional Character you always longed to become.
You probably don't remember–you seemed pretty frazzled, in fact, if you don't mind me saying so, near insane at the time–but we have met. Years ago. You were reading Peter Pan in bed, and you'd just dropped off to sleep. Well, you moonwalked right into the book. That happens sometimes, when a reader yearns to meet the people he's reading about.
I remember I felt so so sorry for you. You told us about your childhood–missing in action, as far as I could tell–and you told us about your life. We were all of us absolutely horrified, but kept quiet then for courtesy's sake. Even the Lost Boys talked later about how they would never ever ever want to be a child pop star in what is so quaintly called the Real World.
I still shudder when I think about it.
When we heard about your death here at the Fictional Characters for Real Life Social Change Working Group, we went on alert. It doesn't happen all the time, but every so often as compensation for a miserable life, 'real' people get to join us here. I think we all hoped that would happen for you. And so it has.
I've given the Pied Piper your details–we agree he's the one who should first show you around. He's a big admirer of some of your tunes. And he and the kids love to dance.
After that, why don't you come 'round the house for a sherry and a chat? I'll have Wonder Woman over, too. And we can get you started on some more wholesome activity than was on offer before to kick off your new life.
Welcome aboard,
Ask Wendy