21. IN FRONT OF THE HOTEL
The TWO MEN peer in all directions. BENNIE points.
BENNIE
Looks like there's something down there.
FRANK pages through a CATALOGUE he takes from his bag.
FRANK
Mmmmm.
He leads the way across the street. TRAFFIC is ferocious. FRANK, used to it, crosses effortlessly, still reading his CATALOGUE.
BENNIE crosses more tentatively, suffering a near miss or two.
22. ACROSS THE STREET – AT LEWIS'S DEPARTMENT STORE
BENNIE cranes his neck up at the STATUE ABOVE THE STORE'S ENTRANCE.
BENNIE
That's something you don't see
everyday, Frank. Full male frontal
nudity.
FRANK
(reads from CATALOGUE)
"Liverpool Resurgent."
BENNIE
What? Get out of here.
FRANK
No. Really. That's what the
statue's called. It says in this book.
He holds the CATALOGUE up under a streetlight. "LIVERPOOL: THE PLACE. THE PEOPLE."
BENNIE
Wow. Where'd you get that?
FRANK
Liverpool Public Relations Services.
BENNIE
I should get my office to liaise with them.
FRANK
You really should. They're very helpful.
BENNIE
That book say anything about a decent
restaurant in this burg?
FRANK
There appear to be quite a few down
this way. What kind of food do you fancy?
BENNIE
Actually, I'm in the mood for a nice
rare steak. With all the trimmings.
They continue DOWN THE STREET.
FRANK
(points)
There you are.
23. A STEAK RESTAURANT. BENNIE rubs his hands together.
BENNIE
Just what the doctor ordered.
FRANK
Well, it's been a pleasure meeeting
you. Enjoy your dinner.
He gives a FRIENDLY WAVE and walks on. BENNIE stares after him, surprised, then chagrinned. He watches FRANK continue down the road, leafing through his book. BENNIE jogs after him.
BENNIE
Hey — listen, Frank. Two guys alone
in a new town. Why don't you join me?
FRANK
That's very kind of you. But I'm afraid
I'm a vegetarian.
BENNIE
(taken aback)
Oh.
(pause)
Not vegan, are you?
FRANK
No, no. Just no meat.
BENNIE
Thank god. I had an ex-wife who was
vegan. You try feeding a woman in the
American Southwest who won't eat meat,
eggs, fish or cheese. It's impossible.
Take my word for it.
FRANK
I'm not as bad as all that.
BENNIE
Well, then. I don't see why we can't
come to an accomodation. Besides, I
owe you that drink.
(looks around)
How about that place there?
Both contemplate a NEW RESTAURANT in a GEORGIAN BUILDING.
FRANK
Mmm. A little yuppie, don't you think?
BENNIE
Just what I was thinking, Frank. Kind
of place where everything comes with
mango salsa.
(points)
How about that one?
FRANK
Hm. Italian. Italian isn't really my…
thing.
BENNIE
(interested)
North or south?
FRANK
The whole boot, I'm afraid.
As they talk, they CONTINUE ON —
24. AT THE TURN TO MATHEW STREET
FRANK
Hello! Look where we are. Mathew
Street. I believe that's where
the original Cavern Club was found.
BENNIE
Cavern Club? Oh! Yeah! Of course!
The Beatles! "Four Lads Who Shook
The World." The loveable mopheads.
Little shits.
(pops hand over his mouth)
Oops. Sorry.
FRANK
Please don't apologize.
BENNIE
(confidingly)
I never liked 'em. Stupid haircuts.
Pointy boots. "She loves you, yeah,
yeah, yeah." What kind of writing
is that? Pathetic. Sorry.
FRANK
No. Honestly. It's not a problem.
I'm a country western man, myself.
BENNIE
NO! Get out of here!
(pause)
What country?
They LAUGH and WALK ON.
BENNIE
C'mon, man, sing us a song! Let's go!
One…two…uno, dos, tres, quatro…
FRANK
(laughs; shakes his head)
You Americans are really remarkable.
BENNIE
C'mon. Otherwise I'll think you're
one of those fake Western enthusiasts.
Always going on about how they love John
Wayne movies, and where can they get some
really good turquoise jewelry, but when
you get right down to it, they don't
know Hank Williams from Glen Campbell.
FRANK
No, really. The way you can just start
up a conversation with a stranger and
immediately solicit him to break into
song.
BENNIE
Happen to you a lot?
FRANK
Three times this year.
(pause)
I do a lot of business with Americans.
BENNIE
(laughs)
It's a national trait.
FRANK
Well, I can't do it unless I've had
a drink. That's my national trait.
BENNIE
Now you're talking my language!
25. IN FRONT OF THE WHITE STAR PUB
FRANK
We could stop here, I suppose. Of course,
the Beatles have been here before us.
BENNIE
This the place, huh?
FRANK
That's right, Bennie. Where those four
loveable mopheads used to get pissed
between shows.
BENNIE
Naw, Frank. It's too historical. It'd
be like drinking in the Lincoln Memorial.
FRANK
I agree with you, sir. One hundred
per cent. I'm sure if we move along,
we'll find something that will meet
our needs….
BENNIE
(his attention diverted by a BUST)
Hey! Who's that?
FRANK
(squints)
That? That, I am reasonably certain,
is Hank Williams. Or Glen Campbell.
I can never tell them apart.
BENNIE Oh my God.
FRANK
Well? Which one is it?
BENNIE
Carl Jung. Carl fucking Jung —
excuse my French.
FRANK
Not at all. Are you sure?
(reads INSCRIPTION)
"Liverpool is the pool of life."
Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe it's
Karl Marx.
BENNIE
Maybe we took a wrong turn and ended
up in Switzerland.
FRANK
No. This is definitely Liverpool.
Yes. Mathew Street. Definitely.
BENNIE
You know, something about Carl Jung…
FRANK Yes, sir?
BENNIE
He always loved a good plate of seafood.
(sniffs the air)
And unless I miss my guess, the waterfront
is thataway.
FRANK laughs. They HEAD DOWN A SIDE STREET.
FRANK'S VOICE
I think you might be mistaken about Jung,
though.
BENNIE'S VOICE
He didn't like seafood?
FRANK'S VOICE
That was Freud.
BENNIE'S VOICE (regretfully)
You see? They didn't teach us that
shit at the University of New Mexico.
26. AT THE PIER HEAD
Windy. Deserted. Cold.
BENNIE and FRANK stand in front of the ONE RESTAURANT.
A "CLOSED" SIGN hangs in the dark window.
They look up and down. NO OTHER RESTAURANT IN SIGHT.
BENNIE
Not even a bar in sight.
FRANK
Pub. We call them pubs.
(pause)
Sorry. I'm getting testy.
(pause)
Maybe we should head back to
the hotel.
He turns and walks up the waterfront. BENNIE follows.
27. UP AHEAD – FARTHER ALONG
FRANK, hands jammed in his pockets, obviously slides into an irritable mood.
BENNIE watches him, covertly anxious.
BENNIE
Kind of a depressed area, the north,
I hear. All those 'for sale' signs
we passed. All the empty buildings.
Kind of gives you the creeps.
FRANK
Do you know what Liverpool made a good
deal of its money on? The slave trade.
(pause)
They say they never let them land, though.
BENNIE
Who?
(pause; FRANK walks on)
Who'd they never let land?
FRANK
What? Oh. The slaves. They never
let the slaves land.
BENNIE
Oh. Well, that's all right then,
isn't it?
FRANK looks at him. BOTH MEN LAUGH. BENNIE looks sideways at FRANK, is relieved to see the bad mood has passed.
BENNIE
(shaking his head)
It's despicable all right. The things
humankind gets up to.
They pass a RANGE ROVER SHOWROOM. Idly window shop.
FRANK
That's a nice car. I like that
black one.
BENNIE
Do cars have ridiculous names here,
Frank? I mean, like in America.
The "Jimmy." The "Cherokee."
FRANK
The "Cogitator."
BENNIE
The "Existentialist."
FRANK
The "Aubergine."
BENNIE
The "Deerslayer."
(imitates advertisement)
"A passionate car for the passion in
you."
(pause)
"Music, money, FUN!"
FRANK
If anything, we're only slightly
behind you on all that.
(looks up ahead; surprised)
Hello! There's a Mercedes salesroom.
BENNIE
(with fake disgust)
I never pay 'em any attention.
All they got is numbers.
FRANK
Now, that's a little strange, isn't
it?
BENNIE
Not really. Who could warm up to
a '280 SL'. Where's the poetry?
FRANK
No. I mean, you were right about this
being a depressed area. Who's buying
these cars?
BENNIE
You're right.
Both men stand for a moment, contemplating this with vague anxiety. Then move on.
BENNIE
(a sudden inspiration)
Shifting markets!
FRANK
(relieved)
Absolutely. Economic revitalization.
BENNIE
That's the key, isn't it, Frank?
FRANK
I think so.
BENNIE
And we're on the edge of it. The
independent businessman.
FRANK
I believe that. Entrepreneurship is
the wave of the future. You Americans
showed us that.
BENNIE
(sighs)
No doubt about it, Frank. These
are exciting times.
A BUS snorts behind them.
FRANK
The constant change…let's catch that
bus, shall we? The constant change is
phenomenal.
BENNIE
Okay….All the old moorings are gone.
28. BUS UPPER DECK INT.
They sit down.
FRANK
Rotted clean away. And replaced by…what?
BENNIE
Ah! THAT'S the challenge!
FRANK
It certainly is.
BENNIE
The millenium!
FRANK
Exactly!
They PAUSE, pleased with each other. BENNIE peers out the window.
BENNIE
I just know there's a pub around
here someplace.
But FRANK is absorbed in his own train of thought.
FRANK
People say we're at the dawn of a
NEW ERA, but frankly I think we're
on the verge of absolute CHAOS. A
sign of this — I really believe this —
are the absolutely insane things
people believe. I mean, all over.
I mean, there is literally no
agreed upon truth anymore!
BENNIE
I don't know that I agree with you there,
Frank…
FRANK
(excited)
Astrology! Tarot cards! The I Ching!
BENNIE
(laughs)
Aromatherapy! Canine acupuncture!
FRANK
Exactly. And this obsession with
Eastern religion. Everyone running
around thinking they're the reincarnation
of Marie Curie! It's insane!
BENNIE spots a PUB on the street.
BENNIE
Aha! SUCCESS!
BENNIE and FRANK get off the bus.
29. ON THE STREET
They head for the pub.
FRANK
There is absolutely a reaction against
science in our culture. Against rational
thought of all kinds. I tell you, it
drives me, for one, very nearly out of
my mind.
BENNIE
(earnestly)
I couldn't agree with you more, Frank.
He holds open the PUB DOOR. Both men ENTER —
30. IN THE PUB
They step up to the BAR, beside a LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN — shaved head, earring, sport jacket and tie. He listens to their conversation, interested.
BENNIE
(continuing)
What are people thinking of? Listen,
if I know one thing, it's this. In
today's fast-paced competitive world,
it's what you know and how quickly you
know it that are crucial. If you don't
have access to the latest information —
whether you're in the office or on the road
— you just can't keep up.
FRANK
(to BARMAID)
Pint of bitter, please.
(to BENNIE)
You?
BENNIE
I'll trust you, Frank. Same for me.
(continues)
Only by having the most powerful
information tools, ones that give you
access to what you need when you need it,
only then will you be on the path to
personal and professional success….
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
(overcome by BENNIE's eloquence)
Here, here! Well said!
BENNIE
(pleased)
Well, thank you.
The BARMAID hands BENNIE and FRANK their drinks.
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
(toasts them)
Cheers!
FRANK
Cheers.
BENNIE
Cheerio, mates!
FRANK winces.
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
You Americans?
FRANK
No, no!
BENNIE
And proud of it!
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
Welcome to the Pool!
Gestures to BARMAID to set up another round.
BENNIE
(COCKNEY ACCENT)
Rather decent of you, old chum!
FRANK
(desperate to stop this)
Maybe you can answer a question my
associate here and I have. We were
just noticing the luxury car showrooms
down by the water. Who is buying those
cars?
BARMAID
Oh, that's drug dealers.
The MEN, intent on their conversation, ignore her.
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
The face of Liverpool is changing.
Computer-based technology has vast potential
in financial services, home shopping, health
research, pharmaceuticals — we're building
a world-class infrastructure to cash in on
the boom.
BARMAID
It's the drug dealers, I tell you.
BENNIE
Fascinating.
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
Cable North West has completed 90% of its
cabling in Liverpool. We have more
broad-band fibre optic cable than anywhere
in the UK. Barclaycard's call center takes
40,000 calls a day.
BENNIE
Well, that would explain it.
FRANK
Absolutely.
The BARMAID, losing interest, wanders away. The BUSINESSMAN nods toward her, lowering his voice.
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
She's a good woman, really. A little
cynical. Hard not to be, when you're
a woman alone with a kid to raise.
(drains his drink)
Well, I'm off. If you have the time, drop
in on my karaoke lounge. Biggest one
outside London.
The BUSINESSMAN and BENNIE exchange CARDS. FRANK leads the way back outside to —
31. THE STREET
BENNIE
Karaoke, eh? Make a good thing out of
it, do you?
LIVERPOOL BUSINESSMAN
Oh yeah. But it's universal, isn't it?
Karaoke. Well, yerright, then.
BENNIE
Cheerio, mate!
They exchange friendly waves. FRANK has already started down the street. BENNIE runs to catch up.
BENNIE
What a nice guy. And what he was saying
was so true. I mean, that's it, isn't it?
Software. The technological explosion —
FRANK looks uncertainly in both directions.
FRANK
Is it this way? Or that? I think…
this way…
He follows BENNIE.
32. MERSEYRAIL TUNNEL – INT.
SINGING STAR POSTERS cling to the WALL AHEAD OF THEM.
FRANK
We should be able to ride this to
Lime Street. We can find it from there.
BENNIE
Rightee-o.
They ENTER THE STATION —
33. JAMES STREET STATION PLATFORM
BENNIE and FRANK stand in awkward silence, waiting for the train. After a moment, FRANK pulls out a newspaper. Reads.
BENNIE
Wonder how long it'll be.
FRANK
I believe they run fairly frequently.
BENNIE
Good. In foreign countries, you never know.
FRANK
Of course, for me, this isn't a foreign
country.
BENNIE
Hey, that's right.
He laughs nervously, puts his hand in his pocket, and JIGGLES HIS CHANGE.
FRANK looks aggravated by this, but ignores it. He buries himself in his NEWSPAPER.
BENNIE
(after a moment)
Anything good in there?
FRANK
(contemplates the PAPER)
No. Not really.
The TRAIN arrives. It is bright yellow. BENNIE and FRANK step on board.
34. ON THE TRAIN
BENNIE sits. FRANK looks as if he would like to sit one seat over, but politeness, as always, wins out.
BENNIE
I don't read them, myself.
FRANK
You don't read what?
BENNIE
Newspapers.
FRANK
(stares; incredulous)
You don't read newspapers?
BENNIE, pleased by this response, nods.
BENNIE
Or magazines. Or watch television.
FRANK
I can't imagine a life without newspapers.
BENNIE
(earnestly)
See — I figure we're way overstimulated
already. No. I mean it. What with phones
and pagers and fax machines and e-mail and
answering machines, I figure I'm just about
maxed out. I mean it. After a certain
point, I've just had it.
FRANK stares at him. BENNIE has caught his attention now.
So much so, that when the TRAIN PULLS INTO LIME STREET STATION, NEITHER MAN NOTICES.
FRANK
I've noticed something about answering
machines. You can be in any country on the
planet. And, it doesn't matter where you
are, all the answering machines in the world
play one of two tunes. The theme from
"The Sting." Or "Fur Elise."
BENNIE
My computer plays that!
(hums a few bars)
Or they play "O Tannebaum."
FRANK
(now thoroughly engaged)
Which is "The Red Flag"! The
"INTERNATIONALE"!
(to BENNIE'S UNCOMPREHENDING LOOK)
The song of the Socialist Party! They
sing it in Red Square in Moscow!
(morosely)
Or they used to, anyway.
BENNIE
The Red FLAG?
FRANK
(excited; sings)
"The Flag is Red…
Duh-duh-duh-something-something…
Stained with the blood of workers…"
BENNIE
Frank! You're singing!
As he sings, something ODD happens.
The LIGHTS FLICKER OUT. And COME BACK ON.
35. Through the window, we see as the TRAIN PULLS INTO A NEW STATION.
FRANK
(impatiently)
Never mind that. The point is that
the Labour Party here used to sing it.
BENNIE
(also thoroughly engaged)
Get out of here! The Labour Party sings
a Bolshevik anthem?
FRANK
Not anymore. Now it's the theme from
"Chariots of Fire."
BENNIE
That's the government for you, isn't it?
You never know what those bastards are
going to get up to next. I swear. In
the U.S.? They're trying to kill fat
people!
In spite of himself, FRANK laughs.
BENNIE
No, I swear! You hear about this diet
drug? Fen-yen, something like that.
Supposed to make you skinny. They pass it
out to about a zillion wideloads, and then,
they're, like, "Oh-oh." Turns
out the stuff makes you lose weight
all right…same time it's weakening your
heart valves. Next thing you know, you
drop dead of cardiac arrest. But you leave
an awfully stylish looking corpse.
FRANK can't stop laughing. BENNIE grins, pleased at his effect.
BENNIE
What're you laughing at? It's not funny.
It's sad.
FRANK
It's so insane. Because where do you
draw the line? Where do you believe
the government and where don't you?
BENNIE
I believe those little signs in elevators
that say they've been certified safe.
That's about it.
FRANK
I take the stairs, myself.
Pause. BENNIE thrusts out his hand.
BENNIE
Put 'er there, pardner.
FRANK, won over, folds his newspaper. And is suddenly aware that the TRAIN HAS PULLED INTO ANOTHER STRANGE STATION.
FRANK
Shit!
BENNIE
What?
FRANK grabs BENNIE and yanks him up from his seat.
FRANK
Come on!
They LEAP off the TRAIN just as the DOOR SHUTS. Somehow, someway, they've landed —
36. IN THE ROTTERDAM BEURS SUBWAY STATION
The TRAIN pulls away. It is now GREEN. FRANK looks, confused, at the DUTCH SIGNS.
BENNIE
What happened?
FRANK
We must have missed our stop.
BENNIE
Well, that's just ducky.
He winces, reaches down to rub his ankle.
BENNIE
AND I've fucked up my ankle.
FRANK
(worried)
I think we have to go up and out, first.
FRANK leads the way. BENNIE, limping, follows.
37. AT THE TOP OF THE ESCALATOR
Signs of construction. They walk past a CLUSTER OF PILLARS.
Posted on the pillars: POSTERS OF THE SINGING STAR. But these posters are WORDED IN DUTCH.
They emerge onto —
38. A STREET OF SHOPS
Shops of the sort that you could find anywhere. Timberland. A jeweller's. The Sting.
But TRAMS are passing overhead.
As they walk, FRANK studies his LIVERPOOL BOOK. BENNIE limps.
FRANK
I'm not absolutely sure what area this is.
BENNIE
What was the name of the station we're
looking for?
FRANK
I don't remember.
BENNIE
Then how do you know this is the wrong
one?
FRANK
Because there are only four stations on
this map, and it's not one of them.
They walk towards some stairs.
FRANK turns the pages of his book. BENNIE observes his ankle, twisting it this way and that.
BENNIE
Can't rotate it as well as I used to.
He sighs, and heads across the street, looking right and left.
FRANK
Where are you going?
BENNIE
Well, Frank…frankly, Frank…while you
figure this one out, I need an anesthetic.
FRANK sighs, follows.
39. INSIDE THE TRAMHUYS
A DUTCH MAN and AMERICAN WOMAN sit at the bar, drinking shots of jenever.
ON A WALL BEHIND THEM – ANOTHER POSTER OF THE SINGING STAR
DUTCH MAN
As Spinoza says, "Whoso loveth God
truly must not expect to be loved
by him in return."
AMERICAN WOMAN
(interested)
Are you trying to sleep with me?
Whenever guys talk philosophy, I
always think it means they're trying
to sleep with me.
BENNIE and FRANK enter. FRANK holds up TWO FINGERS.
The BARTENDER sets down TWO SHOTS OF JENEVER.
FRANK looks at this, confused. But BENNIE belts his down. Holds up TWO MORE FINGERS.
FRANK
Does something about this place seem
odd to you?
BENNIE
No. Why?
(pulls out his WALLET)
I'm screwed if they don't take plastic.
I have got to find a money machine.
FRANK pulls out his WALLET. He pays the BARTENDER with a FIVE POUND NOTE. As BENNIE and FRANK talk, the BARTENDER looks at this with a confused expression, then makes the CHANGE in GUILDERS.
BENNIE
(relieved)
Great. Pay you back when we get back
to the hotel, okay?
FRANK looks vaguely annoyed at this, but says nothing.
BENNIE
I wonder if there's a cigarette machine
in here.
FRANK still frowns at his surroundings. He goes back to his LIVERPOOL BOOK.
BENNIE turns to the DUTCH MAN.
BENNIE
Excuse me. Could you spare a smoke?
Thanks.
The DUTCH MAN holds out a PACK OF CAMEL CIGARETTES. BENNIE takes one.
DUTCH MAN
(continues his conversation with
AMERICAN WOMAN)
Is that bad?
AMERICAN WOMAN
No, of course not.
BENNIE
(as he lights up; to FRANK)
I don't smoke, of course.
FRANK
(orders two more jenevers)
I don't drink.
BENNIE
Kampai.
FRANK
Skoal.
He pays with another FIVE POUND NOTE.
BENNIE
Lucky for me you had plenty of cash.
FRANK
I always try to carry enough for my
immediate needs.
BENNIE
(stung)
I do, too, Frank. I do, too.
FRANK
For example, I always carry a little
spare currency for any country I'm likely
to find myself in. Just enough for cab
fare, and the odd drink.
He looks meaningfully at BENNIE'S DRINK. BENNIE defiantly holds up TWO MORE FINGERS. Two more JENEVERS appear.
BENNIE
Really, Frank. What countries would
those be?
FRANK
(shrugs)
The places I go to most. Bermuda.
Thailand. Amsterdam. Just
enough for an emergency, you know.
Pause. FRANK, satisfied with his score, drinks. BENNIE stares at him fixedly.
BENNIE
Very sensible, Frank. Even, if you
don't mind my saying so, a little
schoolmarm-ish. To carry a little
extra stash of cash is…very…smart.
(dramatic pause)
But do you…have…THIS?
With a flourish, he WAVES HIS WALLET IN THE AIR. And pulls from it a SILVER PLASTIC CREDIT CARD embossed with a MUSHROOM EXPLOSION.
BENNIE
You've heard of gold cards. You've
heard of platinum. But have you
heard of — PLUTONIUM.
FRANK
Never heard of it.
He turns to clear the CHANGE the BARTENDER has left in front of him. BENNIE grabs his hand.
BENNIE
Lemme have that. I collect foreign
change.
They STARE at each other.
FRANK
What on earth for?
Tense pause.
BENNIE
Lemme tell you what I do with it, Frank.
I wrap it in Saran wrap. Stick it in a
sock. And BINGO! Best damn weapon you
ever saw. Can take it through airport
security, Customs and Immigration, anything.
Anyone gives you trouble. WHAMMO.
Another TENSE PAUSE.
FRANK
(flatly)
I donate mine to charity.
BENNIE
Sure you do.
FRANK
And furthermore, I don't believe there
is such a thing as a PLUTONIUM CARD.
BENNIE, eyeing him with hostility, JABS HIS FINGER IN HIS FACE.
BENNIE
Listen, buddy, you'd better believe it.
A Plutonium card could save your hide
one of these days. It's a whole new
concept in marketing. The benefits
are extreme.
FRANK
Oh, super.
BENNIE
Yes, yes, that's it! It IS super!
I get dismemberment insurance. Product
replacement guarantee, including loss
through ACTS OF GOD. I enjoy access to
unique experiences and thrilling events
whose tickets, in many cases, cannot
be purchased through any other source!
AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BEST BENEFIT OF ALL.
FRANK stares at him.
BENNIE
TOTAL SALVATION.
FRANK
I don't have the foggiest idea what you're
talking about.
BENNIE
Once a year, I, as a Plutonium card
holder in good standing, have the right
to call the Plutonium hot line. This is a
special number for a select handful of
qualified customers. Once I have called
this number —
FRANK has had enough of this.
FRANK
(to BARTENDER)
Excuse me. Would you tell me if you
know of a decent restaurant in this
neighborhood?
BARTENDER
There's a very good Greek one just
down the street. But it's a lot of
food. If it's for both of you, you
might want to order enough for one
and split it.
FRANK
Thank you. Good night.
He goes out. BENNIE, still talking, follows him —
BENNIE
Once I have called this number and
given my specially assigned Plutonium
PIN number, which, by the way, it's
best to protect for security reasons
by choosing at random, and not to match
my birthdate, social security number, or
any date of sentimental significance —
40. ON THE STREET
FRANK spots the restaurant. PANOS GRIEK. He heads for it. BENNIE follows.
BENNIE
— once I've established my identity,
this emergency service will RESCUE me
twenty-four hours a day, WHEREVER I AM
IN THE WORLD.
Pause.
FRANK
What do you mean, rescue you?
BENNIE
Well, look. If I'm lost, for example.
FRANK
Like we are, for example.
BENNIE
(ignores this)
I can call PLUTONIUM CARD, and they can
track me, using fiber optics, to any
location. And they will send a LIMOUSINE
to pick me up, delivering me immediately
to my POINT OF ORIGIN.
Pause. FRANK stops and looks at BENNIE. They are now in front of the PANOS GRIEK RESTAURANT — with its row of small white GREEK STATUES in the window.
FRANK
Call them, then.
BENNIE
(blankly)
What?
FRANK
Take some change out of your sock, or
your weapon, or whatever you call it,
and call them and tell them we're lost.
BENNIE
Are you insane? I only get one chance
a YEAR!
FRANK
In that case, I'm going to get some dinner.
41. INSIDE THE PANOS GRIEK RESTAURANT
FRANK sits. BENNIE stares at him through the window, angry. He walks away in a huff. FRANK ignores this.
AFTER A MOMENT – BENNIE reappears. Enters the restaurant. Sits across from FRANK.
BENNIE
How lost are we, exactly?
WAITER
(in DUTCH)
[For one or two?]
BENNIE and FRANK look at him blankly. WAITER switches to ENGLISH.
WAITER
Sorry. For one or two?
BENNIE
We're real hungry.
WAITER
(nods)
For two, then.
He leaves. BENNIE points after him.
BENNIE
It's all Greek to me. Heh heh.
(pause)
No, really. What do you think?
FRANK
We can't be that lost. If it's not
on the map, it just means we've wandered
out past the city centre. Any bus should
take us back.
The WAITER returns, bearing PLATES OF FOOD. As BENNIE and FRANK talk, the FOOD arrives faster and faster. Until the TABLE IS SHUDDERING UNDER THE WEIGHT OF DOZENS OF DISHES.
BENNIE
This wouldn't have happened if you had
remembered the name of the hotel.
FRANK
WHAT?
BENNIE
No, really. I'm the foreigner. I think
it's your responsibility.
FRANK
What business are you in again? Because
in the import/export business, we….
BENNIE
Real estate development.
FRANK
We take responsibility for our own actions.
What did you say?
BENNIE
Real estate development.
Pause.
FRANK
I was in real estate development, too.
BENNIE
Really? The Eighties were great for us,
weren't they?
FRANK
And the Seventies for restaurants.
BENNIE I had a restaurant. You had a restaurant?
(FRANK nods)
Lot of money to be made in restaurants.
FRANK
In the Seventies.
BENNIE
Damn straight. What was that we were
just drinking? Let's have another round.
FRANK
I think we should eat first.
BENNIE
Fine.
BENNIE'S POV. He looks at the COMPLETELY FOOD COVERED TABLE.
And then we look at BENNIE. He has all the physical signs of a FULL BLOWN ANXIETY ATTACK. He hyperventilates, he clutches at his shirt collar. His heart pounds, his eyes pop.
FRANK, spooning a helping of food onto his own plate, looks at him.
FRANK
Bennie?
(pause)
Are you all right?
The SITUATION WORSENS.
BENNIE
(hyperventilating)
Sorry. Panic attack. Sorry. Can't
stop it. Can't…oh my god —
He BOLTS from the restaurant. FRANK looks after him. Decides to eat anyway. But can't. Sighing, he lowers his fork, takes a few bills out of his wallet, lays them on the table, and goes out —
42. ONTO THE STREET
BENNIE, in a panic, disappears at a run AROUND THE CORNER.
FRANK raises his eyes to heaven, shakes his head, and follows.
43. AROUND THE CORNER – A VAST PLAZA – SCHOUWBURGPLEIN
As FRANK appears, BENNIE staggers and slips onto the LARGE SLIPPERY PUBLIC SPACE. He stands up and tries to run. He FALLS AGAIN, and lies there in a heap, breathing hard.
FRANK appears beside him, crouches down at his side. Hold his hand out and HAULS BENNIE UP.
FRANK
This plaza's covered with ice.
Nice space, hey? Very impressive.
As BENNIE stands, still breathing hard, a YOUNG DUTCH BUSINESSMAN passes, talking in English INTO A CELL PHONE.
YOUNG DUTCH BUSINESSMAN (to CELL PHONE) Listen — bottom line, at the end of the
day, the issue is, what can he bring to the table?
As he walks on, BENNIE watches him wistfully.
BENNIE
Wish…I hadn't…left…my pager and
my cell phone…in the room…
He moves forward, still sliding on the ice. FRANK, more concerned than he would like to be, grabs BENNIE under the elbow, giving him some support as they make their way to the sidewalk on the other side.
BENNIE
(feels he should explain himself)
Sorry, man. Sorry about the food.
I've just always been that way.
FRANK
What way?
BENNIE
Abundance. It…it makes me crazy.
Comfort. Satiety. They SCARE THE PANTS
OFF OF ME.
FRANK
It's okay, Bennie.
BENNIE(semi-hysterically)
IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH FOOD!
FRANK
It's okay.
Arm in arm, they cautiously make their way off the PLAZA —
Once safely on the SIDEWALK on the other side, BENNIE breaks away from FRANK, who is now embarrassed at their moment of intimacy. BENNIE gives a half-certain laugh.
BENNIE
What I wouldn't give for a game of
solitaire on my laptop RIGHT NOW.
They turn together and head for the MAIN STREET AHEAD.
FRANK
Really. What kind do you have?
I've currently got one I like with a
12.1" LCD flat panel.
BENNIE
(recovering fast)
Oh yeah? I can't deal with those.
Mine's a 14.1. Anything less —
forget it!
FRANK
Really? You feel that way? Now, I don't
see the need for 14.1" myself….I mean,
I suppose the bottom line is that 12.1's
will diminish and 13.1's will pick up —
As they talk, they WALK PAST A JEWELER'S.
BENNIE
13.3 is the minimum I could live with.
FRANK
— and even its dimensions break the
form factor….
BENNIE
How thick is yours?
FRANK
My what?
BENNIE
Your laptop.
FRANK
1.2 inches.
BENNIE
MINE is .78.
FRANK
Really?
BENNIE
It's the SMALLEST on the market.
FRANK
Impressive.
BENNIE
Mmm.