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EAP: The Magazine Archive

Waldo and Will.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

by Sophie Anne Marston, age 9

Waldo creates a not very good potion…
Once upon a time, a very long time ago, about last week, there was a wizard called Waldo and his cat called Will. One day Waldo was cooking up a potion to make something in to a toad (it was not going very well) when Will said “I swallowed a balloon today!” “Good!” Said Waldo, “And even gooder for me because I just made me the BEST POTION IN THE WORLD!”  Waldo had not made any progress in making potions since he was 857. Right now Waldo is 2479.

Will was not the brightest cat in the whole wide world (even though he likes to think he is) but he knew that whenever Waldo made a potion he was always the one who Waldo tested them on so he left the room leaving Waldo alone.

Waldo eventually got so bored of being on his own that he decided to get himself a honey and banana sandwich. “Aren’t honey and banana sandwiches the best way to unboardenate yourself?” Waldo asked himself.  “Yes they are” Waldo replied.

After the honey and banana sandwiches, Waldo decided to have another go at his turning-people-into-toads potion so as soon as Waldo saw Will he grabbed him by the tail and said “Got ya!” but then Waldo forgot what he was doing and let go again!  (Waldo sometimes forgets what he is doing and only remembers when it is too late).

Eventually Waldo remembered what he was doing, captured Will (again) and as he was starting to pour his potion onto poor Will there was a loud
BANG!
Waldo had to wave his hands around for a bit to clear all of the smoke away.  Waldo gasped at the hideous half-mole half-giraffe creature his potion had made. “Don’t worry Will, Waldo will turn you back, promise!” Waldo said, and turned around to make a getting-rid-of-mistakes potion. (If there was one potion Waldo could make it was definitely a getting-rid-of-mistakes potion). Waldo made a successful potion, but when Waldo looked around Will, who was now not actually Will, was gone!

Some hours later Waldo was driving along in his car, looking for Will, when he drove by The Ice Cream Shop. He blurted “I’ve got an idea in my noggin!”, jumped from his seat and headed straight to the shop.

Minutes later Waldo was back in his car slurping on a chocolate ice cream. “That was the bestist idea I have had in the whole wide week!” said Waldo, “Anyway, what was I doing again?” and the moment he remembered his eyes filled with tears and he started to whimper.

“Waldo, Are you okay?” Waldo stared at a hideous half-mole half-giraffe that was standing right in front of him. “Aaaarrrrhhh!” shrieked Waldo “Get off my space bubble, you!” “But I am your friend!” cried the creature “Don’t you remember me?” Then Waldo remembered, “Will!”

“So, is it time for a getting-rid-of-mistakes potion, then?”

The End.

Ethereal Subtitles.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

OR DIALOGUES WITH GOD, BOOKS AND OTHER SUPPOSEDLY NON-VERBAL ENTITIES OR UPPERCASE CAPTIONS FOR THE MOVIE OF MY LIFE by Alena Deerwater Reading Jeanette Winterson’s memoir, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? while drinking a purple smoothie. Yes, purple. Blueberries, romaine, pear and a splash of lemon. Powerful writing. I’ve been avoiding reading […]

SUNTAN: Between the lines.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

 by Marie Davis and Margaret Hultz Horribly disfigured by life GeeGee was a hard ass—hard as brick, no granite, no diamonds. She was a diamond hard-ass, but not the kind of froufou diamonds seductively smiling in posh jewelry shops. No, hard-ass GeeGee developed slowly through seemingly eons of external pressure—like industrial diamonds, beveled, harder than […]

The Other Side of the Subtitles.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

by Julie Prince The train stopped at Portimao. At least we thought it had. You know how it is sometimes when it’s dark, and you don’t speak the language. We’d been muddling through the continent, Paul and I. Energetic youngsters that we were, we’d given up our jobs-not-worth-keeping to backpack around Europe for a few […]

Getting Lost.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

by Mira Allen I’d been too busy eyeing the mounds of mysterious food being sold beneath my window to notice her initially. Boarding passengers were exchanging piles of riel for piles of meat and fruit and bread and rice. At that moment, all I really wanted to do was tear ravenously into a huge ball […]

Larissa Meets Bigfoot.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

by Teresa Milbrodt Who I’m pretty sure lives in the thicket behind my apartment, because if you were Bigfoot it’s where you’d go to avoid the photographers and biographers and economic crisis since everyone is trying to make a buck and you could end up on the cover of the National Enquirer (again) and a […]

an excerpt from PARK SONGS, by David Budbill.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

an excerpt from PARK SONGS: A POEM/PLAY by David Budbill Publication Date: September 2012 $14.95 14 Black and White Photographs by R. C. Irwin (ISBN 978-1-935259-16-9) (eBook 978-1-935259-17-6) MR C AND POETRY               Mr. C enters the park. He paces back and forth             talking to someone who isn’t there. […]

Talking to Myself.

July 15, 2012 by Exangel

by Amber Koneval The first question I always get when I tell people that I am a poet is “What is your poetry about?” For the most part it seems like they are waiting for me to give them some sort of genre, as if poets must be limited to only writing about love or […]

What They’re Really Saying.

July 14, 2012 by Exangel

by Diane Mierzwik These are some of the notes I collected during the 2011-2012 teaching year in a public school. “I have to sit in front of a boy who fills the seat like an absurd grizzly bear pawing my pink backpack when I’m sharpening my pencil and hope you, the teacher, can help me.” […]

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In This Issue.

  • Ukrainian Fruit Stands Have Disappeared.
  • A Lacanian Poem.
  • Why I Write about Dreams and Dogs (from “My Life with Dogs”).
  • Redwood Birdsong.
  • Laughing Sal.
  • Three Hearts Pumping.
  • Pol Pot’s Purgatory.
  • The Red You See.
  • The Strange Tale of Drs. Tumblety & Blackburn: Or What’s in a Name?
  • Monkey’s Fingers.
  • The Self-Serving Giraffe.
  • Important and Mundane.
  • Tinnitus.
  • Escaping the Dream.
  • Hourly.
  • Inklings.
  • Mind Swoosh.
  • The Music of Dreams.

In The News.

That cult classic pirate/sci fi mash up GREENBEARD, by Richard James Bentley, is now a rollicking audiobook, available from Audible.com. Narrated and acted by Colby Elliott of Last Word Audio, you’ll be overwhelmed by the riches and hilarity within.

“Captain Sylvestre de Greybagges is your typical seventeenth-century Cambridge-educated lawyer turned Caribbean pirate, as comfortable debating the virtues of William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, and compound interest as he is wielding a cutlass, needling archrival Henry Morgan, and parsing rum-soaked gossip for his next target. When a pepper monger’s loose tongue lets out a rumor about a fleet loaded with silver, the Captain sets sail only to find himself in a close encounter of a very different kind.

After escaping with his sanity barely intact and his beard transformed an alarming bright green, Greybagges rallies The Ark de Triomphe crew for a revenge-fueled, thrill-a-minute adventure to the ends of the earth and beyond.

This frolicsome tale of skullduggery, jiggery-pokery, and chicanery upon Ye High Seas is brimming with hilarious puns, masterful historical allusions, and nonstop literary hijinks. Including sly references to Thomas Pynchon, Treasure Island, 1940s cinema, and notable historical figures, this mélange of delights will captivate readers with its rollicking adventure, rich descriptions of food and fashion, and learned asides into scientific, philosophical, and colonial history.”

THE SUPERGIRLS is back, revised and updated!

supergirls-take-1

In The News.

Newport Public Library hosted a three part Zoom series on Visionary Fiction, led by Tod.  

And we love them for it, too.

The first discussion was a lively blast. You can watch it here. The second, Looking Back to Look Forward can be seen here.

The third was the best of all. Visions of the Future, with a cast of characters including poets, audiobook artists, historians, Starhawk, and Mary Shelley. Among others. Link is here.

In the News.

SNOTTY SAVES THE DAY is now an audiobook, narrated by Last Word Audio’s mellifluous Colby Elliott. It launched May 10th, but for a limited time, you can listen for free with an Audible trial membership. So what are you waiting for? Start listening to the wonders of how Arcadia was born from the worst section of the worst neighborhood in the worst empire of all the worlds since the universe began.

In The News.

If you love audio books, don’t miss the new release of REPORT TO MEGALOPOLIS, by Tod Davies, narrated by Colby Elliott of Last Word Audio. The tortured Aspern Grayling tries to rise above the truth of his own story, fighting with reality every step of the way, and Colby’s voice is the perfect match for our modern day Dr. Frankenstein.

In The News.

Mike Madrid dishes on Miss Fury to the BBC . . .

Tod on the Importance of Visionary Fiction

Check out this video of “Beyond Utopia: The Importance of Fantasy,” Tod’s recent talk at the tenth World-Ecology Research Network Conference, June 2019, in San Francisco. She covers everything from Wind in the Willows to the work of Kim Stanley Robinson, with a look at The History of Arcadia along the way. As usual, she’s going on about how visionary fiction has an important place in the formation of a world we want and need to have.

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